Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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