I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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