idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
