me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bring me that man meat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
