Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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