You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
