and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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