At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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