I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
