there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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