So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
