It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
