I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
