She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
