sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
