I molested 6 butterflies tonight
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
