I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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