we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
