my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got inside last night via doggy door
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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