yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
