I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
