dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
