her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
