I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
