Don't you send me to vm
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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