doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
