Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how can u be prego again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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