She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
