I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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