I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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