she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I die, sorry about rent.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
