just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
