its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
