and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
