Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
