think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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