whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
