I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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