This girl is more easily done than said...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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