24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
