I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
