Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i have two assholes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
