I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
