I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
