I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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