WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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