Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
be right there i have to get my cape
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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