the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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