ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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