Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
