Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
