all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
